We knew as soon as I was pregnant that our lives were going to change forever. We were told to say goodbye to a good night’s sleep for the rest of our lives, to say goodbye to buying fun things for ourselves for the next 18+ years, and most importantly, say goodbye to your sanity. But we were ready because we had wanted this from the moment we knew we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. We said goodbye to sleeping 8 hours a night, to buying fun things on a whim, and to our sane selves, but what we didn’t anticipate saying goodbye to were so many little things. We have made a lot of changes in our lives, mentally, physically, and socially, so I wrote down 10 changes we made that affects our daily lives.
- Eating dinner at 6 or before is very important
When it came to dinner before Savannah, we were happy if we ate by 7:00pm, but we weren’t exactly concerned about the when, just that we did actually eat! Since savannah, I have become juuust a little crazy when it comes to dinner time. The thing is, we have been trying to get her asleep by 8:00pm, so we begin her bedtime routine around 7:30 – which is super early for us now! After one too many times of scrambling to eat dinner so we can get Savannah to sleep on time, I decided that even if it makes us feel like we’re 100 years old, our new prime time for eating dinner is between 5:30-6:00! That way we can really enjoy our meal and get to talk with each other a little bit! Trev still isn’t quite used to it but I seriously LOVE eating at this time! I feel like it has erased this dead time I always felt like we had that occurred right after we finished work and right before dinner. Now, we just eat dinner right after work and we still have a night to get Savannah asleep and do whatever we need to do! I think that makes sense.
- Strict nighttime schedule
Talking about eating dinner early leads me into our next change – we now have a pretty strict nighttime schedule – mostly for Savannah but for us as well! I’m sure as she gets older we will be able to change this up a bit, but for now while we are trying to get her sleeping patterns established, we have our night pretty mapped out. 5:30-6:30pm is about dinner time, then we can relax for a bit, then around 7:30pm we give Savy her bath and start winding her down to fall asleep, hopefully by 8:00. In actuality, she doesn’t go down until about 9:00pm (sigh) so when we do finally get her down, we might spend the next hour slowly winding down ourselves by either watching a show, reading a book, or for ME, doing a face mask and drinking wine alone in the bathroom. Trev likes to stay up and catch up on the things he wasn’t able to get done during the day, but I on the other hand head straight to bed as soon as I’m done! I have always loved sleep and having Savannah has made me really cherish those few uninterrupted hours of sleep I can get at the beginning of the night – and I refuse to believe that that makes me sound like a grandma!
- Ok with eating cold meals
Making dinner for Trev and myself is only half the battle, eating it while it is still warm on the other hand is a beast all on its own! We try to take turns on who gets to eat first during breakfast, lunch or dinner, because I swear it’s like Savannah can just sense when we take our attention off of her and she just pounces! Her pouting skills have become quite top notch I might add. I’m a pretty dang quick eater though so most of the time Trev lets me eat first, so I wolf mine down while he plays with savannah, then I take her and he just happily eats his lukewarm meal. He truly is the best. We both are completely content with just eating dinner together though – even when the food is more times than not an icicle.
- From ‘appreciating’ a heads up to it being 100% necessary
We used to be a little more laid back when it came to doing things with friends or family short notice. You want to come and stay with us tonight for absolutely no reason? Yeah absolutely that sounds like fun! Want me to come over in 2 hours to watch the Bachelor or play darts? Heck yes, let me just tell the ol ball and chain and I’ll be right over! We always appreciated having a little advanced notice so we could plan our schedule out a little bit, but it rarely ever happened like that. NOW? Oh we 100% need advanced notice for anything! Whether it’s planning to hang out with family or having a friend come over in the evening, Trev and I have gotten really good at letting people know that we really need some heads up before committing to anything, out of respect for our sanity, our schedule, and for each other’s time! We’ve had our fair share of arguments when one of us (cough cough Trev) wants to play darts with his friends in the basement in an hour, which means I’m – as lovingly as possible – STUCK with Savannah Duty until bedtime! Spending all day with a newly expressive baby is difficult and spending all day and night alone with a newly expressive baby is honestly VERY stressful! So yeah, a heads up is definitely a must for us now!
- No more spontaneous trips literally anywhere
COVID hasn’t really helped in this department but honestly, even if we didn’t have social distancing to worry about, I really think this would still be a thing for us. I would go run errands every other day, sometimes adding more stops while I was out, and it would take me usually 2-3 hours! I can’t even fathom that anymore! We literally plan this all out now! We decide which one of us is going to go out if we need to either get groceries or go pick something up at target (of course) because 1) we aren’t ready to take savannah to public stores or restaurants right now because of COVID, and 2) it’s easier if we have 1 of us stay home with her so we don’t need to pack her into the car seat, back her diaper bag and take her with us. Where it used to be a nonissue on who went to get groceries, now we try to entice each other into going by saying they will get 30 minutes to an hour of ALONE time – who can pass that up?!
- Morning routine lasts about 10 minutes
Morning routines have always been pretty important to me because it helps me set a foundation for my day – if I do very little, my day will feel pretty lack luster and unmotivated. Whereas if I take the time to really do the things I love to do in the morning, I’m excited to start my day and accomplish things! Well, I no longer carve out an hour to do my morning routine – which I’ve learned is actually ok! I’ve developed a routine where I spend significantly less time on my appearance but still put in enough effort to where I feel good about myself – my hair usually goes in some ponytail or bun to keep it out of my face and out of Savannah’s beautiful but grubby little fingers, held up by a lot of dry shampoo. I will say I usually washed my hair twice a week but really wanted to get it down to once a week but just couldn’t ever stomach my hair going through that awful greasy period of adjustment – well I made it! So that’s kind of nice I guess. I have also invested in a lot of loose, breathable clothes that are easy to switch on and off and I can move around easily in, but still feel cute and fashionable! I tell myself that my days with tight shirts and tight jeans are not over – just on a standstill for now! I honestly think I spend more time preparing my coffee in the morning than I do picking out an outfit!
- We live more simply
from what we eat and how we eat, to how we spend our down time throughout the day and on the weekends, we have learned to really appreciate the little things and don’t take for granted when we get 30 minutes of alone time during her naps! We don’t feel the need to go out in the world for hours on end (I mean it doesn’t hurt that we basically can’t right now) or to be having people come over all of the time! We love it when we have visitors, but we are also content with watching a movie together, reading together in the living room, or just playing with savannah and taking a million pictures on our phones! We like to do things that basically help us conserve our energy because baby girl LOVES to keep us movin and on our toes. There was a time where this quarantine would have been insanely difficult for us to live through – but it’s actually really shown us that we can live simply, enjoy every moment we have as a family, and the day still flies by.
- Significantly less time with friends
This one is something we did anticipate but is still pretty sad to be living through it. Trev and I loved being around friends and family when it was just us two, and we would often accompany each other to each other’s friends’ outings! But as many of you already know, having a child completely changes the way you think and the way you prioritize your time! Instead of talking about who so and so is dating or funny stories from a night out at the bars, we tell endless stories about Savannah’s sleeping schedule and the funny faces she is starting to make. While our friends have humored us, we know they don’t really understand the Fascination with this topic and most likely wonder how on earth did we become those parents so quickly?? Alas, we have no real answer – just that if you know, you know. You can make all of the promises in the world before your little one arrives on how you will do date night every week, spend time with friends 3 times a week, and go on girls and guys trips regularly – but for us anyways, we just realized that we’d rather prioritize our time in a different way. So Trev and I have created “Savannah Duty” where one of us takes Savannah for the evening while the other spends some time just hanging out with our friends or family. It doesn’t happen very often though and as she gets older, we hope this can change with babysitters and what not, but for now it’s just where we are at!
- We’ve become financially more responsible
I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I have always been pretty financially responsible (toot toot!) but since we got married, we learned to save as a couple to be able to live the life we wanted which basically consisted of traveling! Since Savannah, we have taken things up a notch and have learned to save for a family, which means less goes into the travel fund and more goes into investments – reliable cars, a home to raise her in, life insurance policies, those kinds of things. We have also found new ways to conserve money, like making coffee at home instead of going to a coffee shop literally every day, buying groceries in bulk (Costco is honestly heaven on earth for us right now,) and using one car instead of both (which is pretty dang easy to do because of quarantine and the fact that we both work from home1). We still spend money on some fun things like clothes and shoes, but we save first and foremost!
I was originally planning on doing 10 changes we’ve made since becoming parents, but I just couldn’t think of 1 last one! Overall, all of these changes have not negatively affects our lives in the slightest – if anything, they have made us more conscious of our actions and our choices. I truly feel like I’m a better person after having Savannah because I truly value each and every day we get to spend together. Trev and I never imagined that we both would be able to work from home in Savannah’s early years, but now that we are able to, we want to do it right. Whatever that means anyways!