A Dad’s Perspective on Having a Daughter

In the beginning, when Alex and I first found out she was pregnant we were not sure if we wanted to find out if we were having a girl or a boy. Alex really wanted to know, but I thought it might be fun to wait for a big surprise at the end. Alex really wanted to know. At first, she wanted to know so we could plan, like buy girl or boy stuff. And I had heard all of that before and I thought yeah that is true, but a lot of the gifts are gender neutral and we can always get cute yellow baby clothes. Then Alex said she wanted to have one of those reveal parties that apparently had become popular recently. I had never heard of a reveal party before. So, I started to feel bad and then she finally won me over when she said she wanted to feel more connected to the little baby growing inside of her. Of course, Alex won. We decided we would try to go for the surprise next time. Who knows if that will change if/when we are in that situation again…

The Reveal Party

The entire time Alex was pregnant, we discussed if we thought our baby was a boy or a girl. From the very beginning we both felt like we were having a girl, but there was a little part of me that thought it could be a boy. I think we flip flopped a couple of times until we became centered around baby being a girl. It was then that we decided we were going to have the reveal party, so what we did was get the sex of baby from Alex’s OB who performed the ultrasound and she put it into an envelope. Alex then gave the envelope to her coworker and awesome friend Hope, so she could prepare the cake. At the time, I was working part time with Alex and Hope at a local restaurant called BisonWitches and I will never forget when Hope arrived at work one night and walked straight up to me and put her finger close to my face and said, “I know the sex of your BABY!” with a giant smile on her face! I was in total shock and was speechless. I really didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t thought about someone knowing before me. At that moment I suddenly wanted to know and became fixated on finding out!

The big day finally came, and I was actually getting super excited and nervous. I remember all day at work I thought about what having a daughter or a son would be like.  I knew my life was going to change, but I really hadn’t thought too much about specially my relationship with a girl or boy. I could tell Alex was nervous all day too. We invited all of our friends and family. Well, I invited a few dudes and three showed up. Alex probably had 15 ladies and then all of the female side of our families. Alex’s friend Hope made an amazing cake that everyone loved and Alex’s work friends, Wendy and Emma, came over early to help decorate. Pink and blue balloons started to fill up our basement (I helped with those.) Everyone brought food and gifts, which was so amazing, I had never been to anything like that and to be honest I had a great time.

The time had finally come for us to cut into the cake and reveal if the insides were pink or blue. Everyone crowded around in our basement with the three dudes way in the back and watched as Alex cut down into the cake. Alex got a sneak peek even before I did and started screaming and crying. Her hands started to shake as she placed the pink colored cake down on the table for everyone to see then she started waving them into the air. I felt so relieved knowing how badly she wanted to have a girl. Alex has three sisters and no brothers, so her side probably had a suspicion we were having a girl. I overheard her father telling a friend of mine he knew our baby was going to be a girl because the Douglas girls always have baby girls. Our friends and family all started talking at once and celebrating. Alex was full of emotions. I gave her a big hug and celebrated the wonderful night with everyone.

My Perspective

Of course, I would have loved our baby no matter what we had, but I knew how much Alex wanted to have a daughter so I was secretly hoping just a little bit for a daughter for her. I wanted to be a father, that’s all. When we announced we were having a girl, an uncle of mine texted me that a daughter is the greatest love I will ever have. Another time I will share the full story of the emotions that you go through the moment your first baby is born, but I will just say now that I felt an immediate love that I had never felt before the moment I first saw her and heard her cry.

Today our little Savannah Bee is just over three months old and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. I found a couple quotes that inspired me to think about what it means to be a father.

“Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter.” – Joseph Addison

To me this hits home. It’s hard to describe the kind of love that I feel for Savannah, it’s different than for anyone else. It’s just something that you feel unconditionally. Savannah didn’t have to do anything for it and I know it will never go away. I know I would do anything for her and I know that I only want the absolute best for her. I want her to have absolute happiness in her life and I’m already sad at the thought that someday she will come to me sad because something happened that either scared her or hurt her and I know that is going to be devastating.

 “A little girl giggles when she is denied an ice-cream by her mother. She knows daddy will get her some later.” – Unknown

I already know Alex is going to be the strict parent and I will be the one that lets her get away with far too much. I know I will need to try and figure out a way to both teach her lessons and protect her so she doesn’t get into too much trouble, but I know I will probably spoil her too much at times. This quote makes me grimace just a bit because I always liked being a little sneaky when I was kiddo, so it will be kind of difficult when the role is switched around.

 “Balt Van Tassel was an easy indulgent soul; he loved his daughter better even than his pipe, and, like a reasonable man and an excellent father, let her have her way in everything.” – Washington Irving, The Legend of Sleep Hollow

Here is one from a movie that Alex and I watched probably a hundred times back when we first started dating, before Netflix and Hulu and Amazon Prime had taken over the world. Alex had this on DVD along with maybe five other movies that we rotated between. This may have been a book first, I’m not sure. But I like the quote because I’m sure I will let Savannah have her way in everything too.

I couldn’t be happier to be a father. I am the type of person that thinks about the future everyday all day so yes, I have thought about all the father daughter moments and I’m looking forward to those big events too. But I’m trying really hard to stay present and enjoy Savannah as each day comes. I want to be here in the moment to enjoy the little changes she goes through and experience her life as she grows up. Being her dad has been the greatest blessing in life.

I was having a little fun with Savannah while Alex got ready for bed and then she snapped this picture! We love it but just in case you were wondering, we decided not to co-sleep! 😉

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