So far I’ve described a little about me, becoming a mom to Evie and Harrsion and how much that differed, going from working mom to stay at home mom, and what being a mom/parent means to me. With this post I really want to dive in a little deeper about actually being a stay at home mom. What my routine is like, the impact it has made so far on my kiddos, my marriage, and myself.
So I’ve literally heard it all and i’m sure i will continue to hear it more and more.
- So you’re a stay at home mom? What’s that like?
- What do you do all day?
- How’d you manage to make that happen?
- Must be nice.
- You’re lucky, you have it made
- So you’re just home all day…?
- You’re kids aren’t in daycare?
- Your 5 year old isn’t in kindergarten or preschool?
And the list goes on and on! i can’t tell you how many times it has felt like since becoming a stay at home mom I’ve felt like i needed to justify it and normalize how my life is now. It honestly sucks, i would be lying if i said it didn’t bother me. But sadly, that’s the kind of world we live in. no matter what you do, everyone is judging and giving their two cents. So here I am giving mine, and being vulnerable, raw, and as open as I can be.
So i put that in quotes cause honestly, everyday is different. And sometimes routines get thrown out the window depending what is going on that day or how my kiddos are feeling emotionally or mentally. So here’s a rough draft as to how my day goes…
- 6:45-8am : both my kids wake up anywhere between these two times. Just depends on how they slept, and when they finally went down for the night. Right away it’s figuring out breakfast, which can be preparing a big breakfast, pouring a bowl of cereal or making smoothies. Evie gets to make that decision, which i’m sure she loves 🙂 After breakfast it’s cleanup and dishes, I’m either emptying the dishwasher and filling it back up, or piling in our breakfast dishes. Getting help from both my babes is key to this operation!
- 9-11am : play time, we normally keep the tv on, (usually a show on pbs kids, or disney+) throughout the day. May sound crazy to some, but honestly it’s mainly for background noise or when Harrison or Evie need a distraction while I’m using the bathroom, or doing some chore around the house. If it’s not the tv, we like to play music throughout the day, either some maren morris or the trolls soundtrack. Also usually during this time, I take a second to make beds, do some light cleaning, or run a load of laundry in between playing with the kids. I try and sneak away to do my morning skincare routine too! Which i have almost perfected to take me no more than 8 min! We do a lot of coloring, Evie has gotten super into our nintendo switch so we like to play mario kart or just dance…which has a kid version that really can kick your ass if you want a good workout! We normally try to shoot to go on our walks or to a park to play!
- 11:00am-2pm : lunch time, depending on how hungry the kids are, lunch can start pretty early or get started late. Also this time gap can be when I put Harrison down for his first nap of the day. I watch for signs, see if he’s cranky, or rubbing his eyes, if he wants to lay down on me more than usual. if i get him lunch and he’s all filled up i wait about 20 minutes-ish for a poo or pee and then put him down. After lunch it’s more dishes, and cleaning up. And while Harrison naps, its mama and Evie play time 🙂 we also love to go visit dada at work during this time, which means we are hitting up the Scooters Coffee drive-thru!
- 2pm-5pm : during this time gap Harrison will wake up (he normally takes an hour to 2 hour nap) . I start preparing dinner or brainstorming what I’m going to be making. My husband gets home around 515/530 so i like to try and have dinner ready by 530, 6 at the latest depending on what we have that night.
- 5pm-8pm : we eat dinner as a family (one of my fav parts of the day) we talk about our days, we clean up dinner, we spend time together, whether that’s just hanging in our living room playing, going on a walk, or hanging out on our deck. if it’s bath night we normally start that around 7. And by 730/8 Harrison is ready to go down.
- 8pm-10pm : Evie goes to bed around 830, the latest 9/930 just depends on how the day went really. Bathroom, brush teeth, read a book or two, always pray and pat back. And by 930/10 we are all snug in bed!
Now, like I said, a rough draft of our routine on a daily basis. But people, there is so much more to this. There’s so many little things and big things that can change up that routine and make it better or a little more stressful. We may have a playdate, we may go visit grammy and popa. We may go on a Target or Costco run, the weather could be bad and we have to stay inside all day. So many factors can play a role in the day to day, ins and outs of being a stay at home parent. It’s a lot of cleaning, preparing, feeding, cooking, changing of diapers, changing of clothes, rocking, hugging, kissing, consoling, teaching, learning, being creative, singing, dancing, riding bikes, running, jumping, building forts, playing hair salon and beauty salon, finding something to organize or clean, rearranging furniture, looking up recipes, the list goes on and on.
The impact me staying at home has had on our kids is my why. It’s what fills my tank, it’s what gets me excited about waking up everyday. It fulfills my life and makes me a better person. Seeing their faces light up when we dance around our living room, watching them chase each other around the kitchen hearing their squeals and laughter. being the one to console them, and hear the thank you i get when i can do something to help them or making Evie’s favorite snack. And to see the looks on their faces and how happy and content they are as i interact and play with them. Knowing how safe they must feel knowing their mama is there at any time during the day. To be able to stay home with them and be that person for them, it’s priceless. It’s helping them more than I think we stay at home moms give ourselves credit for. And we should, everyday!
I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without the support of my husband. The impact me staying at home has had on our marriage has made it even better than what it already was. Yeah, we have our struggles and stressful moments but we always have kept one thing at the forefront. Communication. We’ve worked really hard at this one and it has shown, especially with the transition of me becoming a stay at home mom. We talked long and planned out what would be best for our family, and me staying home was the solution. We both know our roles are the most important to keep everything together and no one’s role is bigger than the other. We are both as significant and we both need to work hard. We are a team. It’s made me feel more confident and stronger than i ever have in my life knowing that he’s my partner. I feel at peace knowing i have someone in this with me wanting the best for us all. When the love and understanding is there, your limits are sky high. We have goals, we have dreams and we work everyday to achieve them no matter what.
Lastly, the impact this has had on me is overwhelming amazing. When I hear people say you’re so lucky, you married a lawyer, you have it made! The first thing that comes to mind honestly, is god. Because without him, none of this would be even possible. This was always my path, and I know I am where I’m supposed to be. I just had to do one little thing to make it all happen and that was trust and faith in God that he knew me better than I knew myself. I made a lot of wrong turns before I made the right ones. It wasn’t all smooth sailing, I worked my ass off in all my jobs (sometimes 3 at a time), i went through stages of depression and feeling hopeless, being in a unhealthy abusive relationship, losing friendships, moving into a shithole apartment, being a single parent and living off of 20$ a week, going through a custody battle, moving to a new city, and so on. My point here, I didn’t just wish on a star or just hope things would happen for me. If you want something bad enough, you are the only one who can make it happen. God never gives us more than we can handle. I prayed and prayed for this life and believed with my whole heart to let go and let god. And let me tell you, he worked within me and within my life! That strength I had in me, only grew more and showed up when I needed it. I am truly blessed, my family is truly blessed. Being a stay at home mom is by far the hardest “job” i’ve had but damn it feels so good to begin doing this “routine” everyday.