Pandemic Realities + Grateful Reminders
One thing I have’nt talked about on any of my blog posts yet is anything dealing with covid/quarantining and all the things surrounding the whole pandemic. In June of 2019 I became a stay at home mom and then had our son Harrison in October…so being out and about and around a bunch of people had slowed down and was at a minimum for us by that time. So when covid hit it was definitely scary but it seemed to us, (as i’m sure to many) that we would only have all the mandates in place for a few weeks and we would all be back to work and life would continue as normal. Much to all our disappointment, confusion and somewhat surprise…..that was the opposite of what happened. At the time we were still living in an apartment all scrunched in with a newborn, a high energy 4 year old, and my husband working from home at our dining room table…all very close in contact. At first it was kinda nice, having all the quality time and bonding all together. I got some more help than I normally would with the baby, Evie and I got to go on groceries runs, and do more things just her and I. It also still felt pretty normal for me, I was a stay at home anyway and that was my role and what I loved doing. Making our home a home, preparing meals, taking care of kiddos, etc etc I was still getting used to my new role but also not feeling completely suffocated by it. Fast forward to may of 2020, we had just bought our new house and were all moved in by the end of the month! It was nice having something so positive and exciting to look forward to during all the craziness to put our time and energy (and money lol) into. It was the perfect distraction and it would be for the next few months as we got all settled in and things kinda seemed to feel like “normal” life again. The house honestly came at such a great time, and it had worked out so beautifully for us, we truly are blessed. Still covid was always there with all the reminders and mandates constantly being thrown our way. Fast forward to a few months ago, and personally for me covid was truly emotionally and mentally hitting me hard. I felt secluded, like I couldn’t go anywhere or didn’t want to because of the stress or feeling worried about being around big groups of people. Scared for my kids, scared for my husband and family members, it was all just getting to me. And then finding out my in-laws tested positive was pretty heartbreaking, we didn’t see them for almost a month and they missed out on their grandsons first birthday. And by the time they were feeling better, we got the news that my mom tested positive and I just remember feeling hopeless for the first time in awhile. It may sound dramatic but up until that point I hadn’t really thought too into covid, yeah i definitely took it seriously and was more than willing to wear a mask and take all precautions necessary, but I never thought past that, that it would directly affect my family and I. I guess when something doesn’t affect you personally and so direct you don’t really take it seriously. It’s hard to put yourself in that position when you have no idea what it really feels like. I know there are so many people who have lost loved ones and all the medical care workers who haven’t seen their family in months, I can’t imagine how that’s been for them. So I can only speak from my own experience, and it’s been hard lately. With the weather getting colder it feels like we are more cooped up than ever and thanksgiving was the first time since I can remember, I didn’t spend it with all my family…my mom sat alone that day. Things just feel so up in the air and making any sort of plans seems like the hardest thing if not impossible right now. I just feel drained, drained by a lot of things. Social media, all the false info sucking people in to believe, It’s just sad. The whole election….I mean, damn that was insane. I’m drained from feeling cooped up, knowing things we once did before we cant do anymore or there’s all these rules to the point where it is even worth it? I mean it’s been a crazy, shit show for a year. So lately i’ve been really trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel, things I’m thankful for in my life right now, things that make me smile and feel good, things that give me hope, things that fill me up in a good way. So I thought i’d share some of those reasons that i really have been trying to keep in mind whenever im feeling down. And I encourage you all to do the same, or at least write them down and read aloud everyday. Because, no matter what one of us is going through there is always something to be thankful for and feel good about.
- My family – my husband is everything. It helps when you’re quarantined with your best friend but also to someone who is so selfless and takes care of our family in ways I never could. To know I have him on my good days and bad makes my world so much better, that’s really all I need to feel good.
2. Our kiddos!! Man how quarantine would be boring and more quiet without these two stinkers. As much as we’ve gone crazy, we’ve had so many laughs and milestones with these two. They have been so much of our happiness and just make us feel good everyday. I don’t know what we’d do without them. They’ve kept us on our toes and I know I needed that distraction.
3. This blog – when Alex asked me to be a part of this I was beyond excited and felt so lucky. The friendship I have with her is so special to me, and being able to share our lives through this outlet to you all has meant everything. It truly has been my favorite thing this year, it has let me really dive deep into my life, my feelings, and share things from my heart to hopefully to connect our worlds closer together. I’m so excited to continue this venture with her and her hubby Trevor!
4. Friendships – one thing that I’ve ESPECIALLY been grateful for this year. Keeping in contact with friends is more important than ever these days. Just knowing you have someone you can reach out to and you know will be there means the world. I think that’s one thing I actually can thank social media for, and it’s making those connections. Our world, especially the social media world can be so cruel and disheartening. And people are constantly comparing themselves to others, but showing support and love to one another can make a huge impact in someone’s life and we may not even know it.
5. Being a stay at home mom – this has been a huge change for me, but also one of the best things to happen to me for my family. I have found a new love and appreciation for cooking, for making my home a calm, cozy and safe place, for becoming more organized, and also helping me realize that i’m human, and i’m far from perfect and my home is not going to be pristine and clean 24/7, and a bath day may get pushed to the next day, and that load of laundry may go undone, or dinner wasn’t a hit and my kids eat cereal. I mean, it’s really been eye opening to see myself in this new role and the changes i’ve made for my family. Personal growth has been a big one for me and I’ve come a long way, still have work to do but I’m waking up everyday and trying and that’s what truly counts.
6. Our health and faith – even though a few of our family members had covid, we are blessed beyond belief to all be in pretty good health and have no serious health issues. This is something I am so thankful for each and every day. I know things can happen and change quick, but overall we have stayed healthy and happy throughout the ups and down the last year has brought. That we have mentally been able to hold on to our sanity and see the good in any situation thrown our way. For our strength and willingness to show up for each other, to support and make those hard decisions for the better of our future down the road. It took alot of discipline, sacrifice and a lot of work to get our family to where it is now. We have always trusted that God has a plan, and his plan is far better than the one we try to set out for ourselves. We are not meant to live this life alone, we don’t have to carry these burdens alone, having faith and trusting that we will be taken care of is our everything.
You are not alone, your feelings and thoughts are valid. One day could be great, the next not so much. Love and connection is what keeps us strong and united. We can’t ever give up on each other, you never know what someone is going through. Our social media pages are not the whole story to our lives, it goes deeper. Life is precious and we are not promised tomorrow, so reach out. Call that friend you haven’t seen in forever, find an uplifting podcast to listen to, plan a virtual party with your friends, go on a walk with a loved one you hardly see anymore. Find time for just you, take yourself out, buy yourself a new outfit, cook our favorite dinner for a friend and deliver it. Times are hard, I think we can all agree on that. But here we are, we are all in this together, we will make it through and thrive from this.